You Can’t Make Someone Like You. You Can Only Stalk Them & Hope For The Best.

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Do you have those friends that post 80 pictures/day of their current main squeeze and posts about how great/special/wonderful etc. they are? What about that friend who posts every little detail about their relationship drama on their social media pages for the world to see? Just recently my good friend went through a break-up and did what any heartbroken woman would do and blast her ex (and all of his short comings) on her social media pages.  Come to think of it, my ex STILL makes jabs related to me on his Twitter, and we’ve been broken up for months – proof below!

 

 

 
And then of course there is the tricky game of relationship statuses. Are you Facebook official? Have you had a fight with someone about whether or not you really want to tell the world you’re dating? And don’t even get me started about Facebook creeping – yes I will admit I am a culprit! Social media makes getting a date (and breaking up with them) as simple as the click of a mouse.  With all of these new emerging media platforms, the way we date and view dating have drastically changed.

Shape and Men’s Fitness focused their annual sex survey on technology for the first time and found some interesting results.  According to the survey, 80 percent of women say they’re having sex sooner because it’s easier to stay connected through texting and social media, while 58 percent of men said that flirting through social media and text helps them get women into the sack quicker.  Before technology, daters would only get to know each other face-to-face or over the phone.  Now, daters can chat throughout the day about everything from what color socks they’re wearing to what they had for lunch.  Not to mention the countless hours looking through pictures, posts, Tweets and Google searches that they are able to do.  The worst part about dating is the long process of spending time with someone to find out if you’re compatible with them.  Now with Facebook, you can immediately find out what you have in common without even having a conversation with them (“See Friendship” feature).

Online dating sites have also drastically eased the dating process on every end.  According to an infographic provided by Mashable, 40 million people in the United States utilize online dating sites.  In the US, the average user age is 48 with an average visit per site time of 22 minutes and 27 seconds.  There are tons of websites for online daters to choose from as well: PlentyofFish.com, Match.com, eHaromny.com and even the personal ads on Craigslist.com.  These datings sites have  changed the way people look for each other, since we live in a customizable society where we can get anything in the size, color or shape of our choice.  Dating sites allow users to find a person based on their criteria, see their picture and gain a lot more information about them before even having a conversation.  These sites open up a new way of meeting people to those who might not have the time or the opportunity elsewhere.  Distance, a busy schedule and lack of access to potential partners are no longer barriers to dating.  Below is the infographic from Mashable.com so you can see some other surprise statistics about online dating!

 

Although emerging technology has changed dating, there is a downside – jealousy.  As more and more people spend time on social media monitoring their current or ex lover’s activity, feelings of jealousy increase.  Discovery Health looked at why Facebook and social media cause these feelings and came down to 5 reasons:

1. Facebook is Addicting

Amy Muise, a human sexuality researcher and PhD candidate at the University of Guelph in Canada, found that the time spent on Facebook is a significant predictor of the experience of jealousy.

2.  It’s Too Easy to Reconnect with Ex’s

Muise found that over 80 percent of Facebook users add previous romantic or sexual partners.  Before Facebook, if people wanted to communicate with their ex’s, their current partners didn’t have to know about it.  I know recently I’ve gotten an ex-boyfriend who has come came out of the blue to try to secretly exchange messages with me behind his current girlfriend’s back.

3.  It Over-Informs

With all of the information on social networks, people can find out more information about their partner than they ever wanted to know.  Facebook allows you to monitor your partner’s activities without them ever knowing it.  With all the information avaialble, we always assume the worst. A harmless post can be taken out of context and suspicions or hunches can grow into full-blown arguments based on a tagged photo.

4. It Appeals to Women

Muise found that women are not more jealous than men but they spend more time on Facebook – which means their relationship jealousy was more likely occur because of Facebook than men.

5. It’s Probably You

If you’re already a jealous person, Facebook will make it worse.  It’s clear that Facebook doesn’t make these situations easy but it won’t make you a jealous person.

Here’s a great video about Facebook manners and relationships!

 

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One response »

  1. Lauren,
    That is an interesting post! I have heard that Facebook is creating havoc for teens as well leading to depression if they do not get responses or friends as they expect. I was running yesterday listening to Pandora and heard that 1 in 5 relationships now begin online. How things are spiraling out of control! Face to face is fading out and gone are the days to learn how to dance, converse and know manners! I am really sounding old now! It is a brand new world and social media probably does reveal all types of character flaws as you state or help hide them depending on how well a person can portray him/herself online. Just beware! Relationships are very different than buying a shirt! Things can get wildly out of control!!

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